The Relationship Worksheet

Want to learn more about each other? Want to resolve a conflict? Here’s an awesome set of questions help couples—no matter what age. Each person answers the following. Then, shares the answers with the other (copy and paste this text or print this text, fill in your answers then share it with your partner). It’s to learn and grow— to explore and to love…. never to judge or criticize. Let’s learn, grow, correct, and love!

What traits about yourself will most likely cause issues with your partner?

What traits about yourself are you proud of that you hope your partner loves about you?

If you were to guess, what does your partner love about you?

What do you value about your self the most?

What do you love about your partner the most?

What personal issues of your own do you think you might have that may be trouble in any relationship? And how will you plan on addressing them?

What were some of the original things you were attracted to him/her most?

What do you think your partner needs from you most?

What is the cause of the issue at hand— or is commonly the same issue.… (in your words)?

I hate it when you….

I love it when you….

Describe your “ideal” marriage? The husband does (?) and the wife does (?)

What makes you feel most unliked by your partner? When they do what?

What can you do differently that will help your partner feel more loved and appreciated?

Now, what do you need THEM to do SPECIFICALLY to make you feel more loved and appreciated?

What is most important to you that makes you feel loved out of the following: 1. Getting gifts, 2. Acts of service (bringing you a cup of coffee, etc…), 3. Words of affirmation and love, 4. Quality time together, 5. Physical touch?

What do you think is your PARTNERS’ most important from above?

Whose attention do you/did you crave most? Mom’s or Dad’s?

Imagine you are at your partners funeral, and had to say something about them to everyone. What would you say?

If they were gone, deceased…. what would you miss the most?

Quick emotional guide: Five key emergency emotional survival steps

The following steps are critical to help with emotional emergencies. Read and follow them and your life will change quickly and get you back on track. That’s all that’s happening here. You are simply off track. Just like being thirsty, or hungry, your spirit is starving— so let’s get that nourished quickly. But first— STOP. Simply stop the energy flow right away. And know this is temporary, will pass, and you will come out stronger after you read this guide.

ONE: Remember it’s a lie

Your real Self is void of anything negative, destructive, bad, violent, harmful, or misery-provoking. If you were meant to be that way, you’d be born that way— and as you know, you are not. This is all collective and experientially learned behavior that also ties into your unique traits, personality, and biological aspects. So it’s important to first understand that it’s a lie. Your ego (Edge God Out) is making you think you are miserable. Your not. It’s a confusing and deceptive lie.

• It’s not real— only your true, God-made Self is

• Remember—You are not broken, you are not bad, and you will not die.

• Your ancient fight or flight, fear, and survival tactics still exist in us, we must recognize that and use modern logic to say “thanks, but no thanks.”

• Biological functions sometimes confuse our psychology, be aware of that. Chemicals that affect our state of consciousness. We interpret that sometimes as a “problem.” It often is not.

• Key point: It won’t last. No storm lasts. It always ends and changes. Change is a rule of life. All things change.

• The lie is that it is bad, and it is forever. It’s the biggest lie there is. It will not last.

• The feeling of “wanting to die” is only the false Ego self that feels that way. The recognizing spirit that even sees there’s an issue is the real you. The one recognizing it… get it? Some part of you has to be seeing it and communicating it. That, is your spiritual Self. The REAL you!

• Remember that most of the suffering is in the mind… through thoughts. It’s not an actual tangible object. Thoughts are the issue.

• Remember also that you own your thoughts. No blame of yourself or anyone else. Just simply stand up, brush yourself off, and take control of the ship—now!
  

TWO: Go back to center

Remember always that you are a spiritual being experiencing life in a human form (a name that we gave it). Spirit first. That’s important to understand. At least imagining that helps you see the bigger picture. Your eyes, ears, feelings, moods, etc… are all perception devices that helped you survive, thrive, and pass on DNA. It’s your spiritual center that’s important. That balanced center that you were born into. Like an un-flickering candle.

• Your center is beautiful. It’s lovely, relaxing, happy, and balanced. Go THERE.

• You were born on that center. It’s there. Simply return to it.

• You are merely off track. That’s all.

• When you are on center, you can’t feel bad. It’s impossible. Center means with God, with your true nature. Go there.
  

THREE: Go back to basics first

We often neglect our basics. What we eat, drink, smell, touch, taste, think, and physically do to our bodies have a huge impact on our psychology. Often doctors overlook this simple principle. What have you been eating? Do you drink fresh quality fluids? Are you deficient in, and taking vitamins? Are you exercising— enough, and correctly?

• Start by eating good, quality food

• Drinking the right things

• Not smoking, not drinking alcohol (at ALL!), no vaping, no weed—none of it! It all affects the mind and body— period. No exceptions whatsoever. You wouldn’t give it to a baby, so why would you take it?

• Take a multivitamin. Magnesium, vitamin D, and B are critical, and often are lacking in foods we eat. Vitamin D is critical for emotional health. So it’s fresh fish oil.

• Sleep as best you can, or rest as often as you can— balance of rest and movement

• Pray. Become spiritual. Find a church, or website, or Youtube channel that can inspire you spiritually. Feeding your mind with God’s love, wisdom, and other inspired works can work from the inside out

• Avoid the news. No negativity at all. Period. You don’t need the news at all. I you need to know, you’ll eventually find out. Avoid negatively at all costs. It’s sticky, it’s unhealthy.

• Consider meditation, TaiChi, or yoga. It soothe the soul.

• Exercise. But correctly. Not too much, not too little. Move the body even a little at a time. Don’t be afraid to sweat and get breathing heavy sometimes. But don’t overdo.

• Think good thoughts always. When yo find yourself thinking poorly, correct it quickly.
  

FOUR: Access your toolkit

You need to be prepared like any emergency. Have a survival plan. Start with this guide and then, have your own kit prepared and ready to go.

• Access beautiful Youtube videos like this one: https://youtu.be/UcMzAaLArnA

• Have spiritual books on hand, like Wayne Dyer, Joyce Myer, Eckhart Tolle, and others. Research them on Youtube and watch them as frequently as possible.

• Review this guide! And ACT on all of it.

• Give your self space. Permission to feel good. No one else can give it. Just you.

• Seek, attract, and hang out with only positive, loving, kind, caring people— but always be the same to everyone else.

• Give your self as much SELF love as possible. Love yourself deeply, and give your self as much nurturing and love and kindness as you can.

• As you ALLOW yourself back on track, watch your joy unfold gently, beautifully, confidently…

• Smile, relax, and enjoy each and every delicious moment. Focus on gratitude for each and every small thing.

• Know your triggers. Get to know them intimately so you can recognize them before they drag you off center.

• Remember this: I live in a Divinely Inspired Universe. I have nothing to fear. I trust in myself, and when I do so, I trust in the very Wisdom that created me.
  

FIVE: Using your powerful imagination

We are given a beautiful gift of imagination. It’s what allows us to dream, to imagine ideas, to create, to contemplate and develop solutions and all the wonderfully miraculous things in this world. When awake, we can consciously choose to dream alive. That’s right. You can actively create your world with a simple, free, and powerful thought process. So use your imagination to help shape your beautiful world.

• Define your own beautiful world. What do you want it to look like?

• Seek others that inspire. Seek what they sought. Be it Jesus, Ghandi, Buddha, or Muhammad. Or maybe an author, podcaster, or otherwise. Then, become your own guru! Start now.

• Imagine beautiful angel wings rising behind you and lifting you up

• Imagine sitting next to Jesus (or who you believe in) and feeling warm, loved, and comfortable. Then bring that feeling into your real active world.

• Create mini-challenges. Like, “today, only today I will seek gratitude for everything” and fill each day with outward actions that shape each day.

• Hang up inspirational quotes and things that bring joy to you.

• Imagine who else you can help. Sometimes helping others is the key!

• Imagine a spirit is watching over you and protecting you (which it really is). Allow it to flow through you, around you, and shape you…

The Judo Way

This Judo program I developed many years ago is much different than most traditional Judo practice. Having trained in, competed in, championed and practiced Judo for many years at a young age, I was always intrigued by the far deeper aspects of this beautiful art form. Developed by Kano Jigoro Shihan in 1882, based on the ancient art of Jujutsu, there was always a much deeper, underlying psychological and spiritual center to this (and many other) martial arts. In fact, Judo more or less translates to “The Gentle Way.”

One might wonder where that “gentleness” is— with all the very physically demanding movements, throws, chokes, arm and leg bars and holds. These movements were no doubt useful at a time when locals and warriors needed to protect themselves, but the Judo practice was much deeper. The philosophical and psychological trainings happened often at home, or in the Dojo’s in private. The master teachers would teach it regularly, and in fact demanded a very sincere and obligated mind set before, during, and after training. A life long commitment to “the gentle way.” This is the training I would like to share.

I believe that all of the martial arts have a similar if not identical belief system, and that of honor, respect, dignity, character, wisdom, kindness, love, understanding and empathy all play a part of God’s (or Creator, etc…) meaning in all of our lives. This is what I call the Best Self. And that is what I am committed to a life time of striving for and to helping others attain.

Developing a beautiful body, mind and spirit through the deeper, foundational, and fundamental aspects of Judo training. This will include gentle physical exercises for all ages— based on the Way of Judo that will help build appropriate and durable strength, flexibility, and balanced energy. Special breathing techniques and movements to develop concentration, focus, and proper movement energy. Philosophical, spiritual and mental training of the ancient arts of Judo to help develop a strong spirit, mind, soul, and achieving beautiful well-being.  All of this is designed and developed to help attain the Best Self—how we were created, and how we are meant to live.

This program is also designed for all ages, with the idea that whether you are a young child, mid-aged, or in the elder of years, we can all develop all of the same “balanced” body, mind, and spirit. Flexibility, and what I call “appropriate” strength are meant to live a practical life, one filled with joy, adventure and very simple ways to use the physical body we were given. Lifting boxes, throwing occasional balls, doing house work, playing, hiking, etc… are all balanced examples of how to use the body.

Over training, building massive muscles, and developing egotistical “false” selves to please and impress others is not on this path— nor part of what I am teaching. If you seek violent Katas and physically impressive Judo in hopes to compete, or maybe use to hurt others—which I hope yo don’t, you should seek it elsewhere. There’s plenty out there. That is not what I am teaching. I DO however, base many of the training exercises and programs around all of the essential Judo movements and forms. But in a much slower, revised, and very gentle way to help develop a whole other aspect of this beautiful art.

My teachers, Mr. Mackey, Mr. McGloin, Mr. Kish, and Mr. Youngclaus, were inspirational, and foundational in my younger training— which led me to my championship not only of matches and of State, but also of training of the mind— the fundamentals of Judo that we were also trained. Many, many talks and teachings. I am eternally grateful for them, as well as my Dad who was there every step of the way, and my Mother for supporting it, driving me to and from, and supporting every spiritual aspect of my life. It continues long after and to this day. Martial art training has always been something I have been drawn to, and simply passionate about it. That’s what compels me to help others as well. I hope you join me, and allow me to help guide you to your Best Self!

Judo body:

• Bowing

• Stances

• Warmups

• Band work

• Energy and power

• Judo fit

• Street techniques

Judo Spirit:

• Judo philosophy

• Meditation

• Living the Judo Way

• Gentleness toward the Self

• Addressing challenges

• Attitude

• The Way

Diet

• Of the body

• Of the mind

• Of the spirit

12 steps to simplicity

As taught and written by Dr. Wayne Dyer

Here are 12 very specific tools for simplifying your life. Begin using them today if you’re serious about hearing that ultimate call to inspiration.

1. Unclutter your life.

You’ll feel a real rush of inspiration when you clear out stuff that’s no longer useful in your life:

• If you haven’t worn it in the past year or two, recycle it for others to use.

• Get rid of old files that take up space and are seldom, if ever, needed.

• Donate unused toys, tools, books, bicycles, and dishes to a charitable organization.

• Get rid of anything that keeps you mired in acquisitions that contribute to a cluttered life. In the words of Socrates, “He is nearest to God who needs the fewest things.” So the less you need to insure, protect, dust, reorganize, and move, the closer you’ll be to hearing inspiration’s call.

2. Clear your calendar of unwanted and unnecessary activities and obligations.

If you’re unavailable for Spirit, you’re unlikely to know the glow of inspiration. God will indeed work with you and send you the guidance—and the people—you need, but if you’re grossly overscheduled, you’re going to miss these life-altering gifts. So practice saying no to excessive demands and don’t feel guilty about injecting a dose of leisure time into your daily routine.

3. Be sure to keep your free time free. 

Be on the lookout for invitations to functions that may keep you on top of society’s pyramid, but which inhibit your access to joyful inspiration. If cocktail parties, social get-togethers, fund-raising events, or even drinking-and-gossiping gatherings with friends aren’t really how you want to spend your free time, then don’t. Begin declining invitations that don’t activate feelings of inspiration.

4. Take time for meditation and yoga.

Give yourself at least 20 minutes a day to sit quietly and make conscious contact with God. I’ve written an entire book on this subject called Getting in the Gap, so I won’t belabor it here. 

I also encourage you to find a yoga center near you and begin a regular practice. The rewards are so powerful: You’ll feel healthier, less stressed, and inspired by what you’ll be able to do with and for your body in a very short time.

5. Return to the simplicity of nature.

There’s nothing more awe inspiring than nature itself. The fantasy to return to a less tumultuous life almost always involves living in the splendor of the mountains, the forests, or the tundra; on an island; near the ocean; or beside a lake. These are universal urges, since nature is created by the same Source as we are, and we’re made up of the same chemicals as all of nature (we’re stardust, remember?).

Your urge to simplify and feel inspired is fueled by the desire to be your natural self—that is, your nature self. So give yourself permission to get away to trek or camp in the woods; swim in a river, lake, or ocean; sit by an open fire; ride horseback through trails; or ski down a mountain slope. This doesn’t have to mean long, planned vacations that are months away—no matter where you live, you’re only a few hours or even moments away from a park, campground, or trail that will allow you to enjoy a feeling of being connected to the entire Universe.

6. Put distance between you and your critics.

Choose to align yourself with people who are like-minded in their search for simplified inspiration. Give those who find fault or who are confrontational a silent blessing and remove yourself from their energy as quickly as possible. Your life is simplified enormously when you don’t have to defend yourself to anyone, and when you receive support rather than criticism.

You don’t have to endure the criticism with anything other than a polite thank-you and a promise to consider what’s been said—anything else is a state of conflict that erases the possibility of your feeling inspired. You never need to defend yourself or your desires to anyone, as those inner feelings are Spirit speaking to you. Those thoughts are sacred, so don’t ever let anyone trample on them.

7. Take some time for your health.

Consider that the number one health problem in America seems to be obesity. How can you feel inspired and live in simplicity if you’re gorging on excessive amounts of food and eliminating the exercise that the body craves? Recall that your body is a sacred temple where you reside for this lifetime, so make some time every single day for exercising it. Even if you can only manage a walk around the block, just do it.

Similarly, keep the words portion control uppermost in your consciousness—your stomach is the size of your fist, not a wheelbarrow! Respect your sacred temple and simplify your life by being an exerciser and a sensible eater. I promise that you’ll feel inspired if you act on this today!

8. Play, play, play!

You’ll simplify your life and feel inspired if you learn to play rather than work your way through life. I love to be around kids because they inspire me with their laughter and frivolity. 

Get back in touch with your real, playful self, and take every opportunity to play! Notice how it makes everything so sweet, and so simple.

9. Slow down.

One of Gandhi’s most illuminating observations reminds us that “there is more to life than increasing its speed.” This is great advice for simplifying your life—in fact, slow everything way down for a few moments right here and now. Slowly read these words. Slow your breathing down so that you’re aware of each inhalation and exhalation...

When you’re in your car, downshift and relax. Slow down your speech, your inner thoughts, and the frantic pace of everything you do. Take more time to hear others. Notice your inclination to interrupt and get the conversation over with, and then choose to listen instead. Stop to enjoy the stars on a clear night and the cloud formations on a crisp day. Sit down in a mall and just observe how everyone seems in a hurry to get nowhere.

By slowing down, you’ll simplify and rejoin the perfect pace at which creation works. Imagine trying to hurry nature up by tugging at an emerging tomato plant—you’re as natural as that plant, so let yourself be at peace with the perfection of nature’s plan.

10. Do everything you can to eschew debt.

Remember that you’re attempting to simplify your life here, so you don’t need to purchase more of what will complicate and clutter your life. If you can’t afford it, let it go until you can. By going into debt, you’ll just add layers of anxiety onto your life. That anxiety will then take you away from your peace, which is where you are when you’re in-Spirit.

When you have to work extra hard to pay off debts, the present moments of your life are less enjoyable; consequently, you’re further away from the joy and peace that are the trademarks of inspiration. You’re far better off to have less and enjoy the days of your life than to take on debt and invite stress and anxiety where peace and tranquility could have reigned. And remember that the money you have in your possession is nothing but energy—so refuse to plug in to an energy system that’s not even there.

11. Forget about the cash value.

Do what your heart tells you will bring you joy, rather than determining whether it will be cost-effective. Don’t base your purchases on getting a discount, and don’t rob yourself of a simple joy because you didn’t get a break on the price. You can afford a happy, fulfilling life, and if you’re busy right now thinking that I have some nerve telling you this because of your bleak financial picture, then you have your own barrier of resistance.

Make an attempt to free yourself from placing a price tag on everything you have and do—after all, in the world of Spirit, there are no price tags. Don’t make money the guiding principle for what you have or do; rather, simplify your life and return to Spirit by finding the inherent value in everything. A dollar does not determine worth, even though you live in a world that attempts to convince you otherwise.

12. Remember your spirit.

When life tends to get overly complex, too fast, too cluttered, too deadline oriented, or too type A for you, stop and remember your own spirit. You’re headed for inspiration, a simple, peaceful place where you’re in harmony with the perfect timing of all creation. Go there in your mind, and stop frequently to remember what you really want. 

What is Qi (chee)?

What is Qi?

Qi. (Def): In traditional Chinese culture, qi, (pronounced “chee”) also called ki is believed to be a vital force forming part of any living entity. Literally meaning "vapor", "air", or "breath", the word qi is often translated as "vital energy", "vital force", "material energy", or simply as "energy.”

But what is it? How does it work? And how can it affect you? Let’s dig a bit deeper and unravel it’s mystery…

Pronounced “Chee,” Qi is a Chinese word that basically means energy. The vital life energy in all things—In the universe, in nature, and for now let’s talk about how it relates to your mind body, and if we dare— your spirit.

There is energy in every aspect of your existence. In every cell of our body, and even outside and around your body there are electrical impulses, signals, particles, and waves that interact with each other

On a grand scale, think of lightning or outer space. In the middle ground think of electricity running through a home. And on the smaller scale think of your nervous system and the small electrical energy running throughout your body. On a microscopic level, the atoms, electrons, quarks, and photons all dancing around miraculously. 

A few practical examples would be when you operate a remote control to open your car from across the yard or parking lot. Or maybe static electricity as you rub certain fabrics together as the “energy” interacts from your body.

And old trick I learned when I was young, was using a thread and small sewing needle and hovering it over your hand and using your mind, intention and thoughts to move the energy in different directions.

From a healing perspective, there’s chiropractic, acupuncture, acupressure, cranial-sacral,  reiki, and other “energy healing” practices. And all proven to be effective and beneficial to health and wellness. Even the ancient traditions and tribespeople practiced these methods thousands of years ago. 

In the martial arts, energy (Qi) is used to move energy through the body to nurture, strengthen, and protect the body as well as developing tremendous amounts of power that can help protect you physically and “direct” others in certain ways. The ideal strike, punch, throw, kick, block or attack is with nurtured and highly developed Qi energy brought forth simply with intention. It can be very, very powerful. But equally important to be nurtured and not wasted—like all energy, can be diminished quickly.

And just like moving currents in electricity in a home, you can literally move and alter energy in and around your mind and body WITH your mind and body. The essentials of the skill of Qigong (energy skill). You literally move Qi with the mind, you USE the mind to develop and move qi throughout the body.

The objective of working with Qi is to help develop, and then nurture energy throughout your body. This balances the mind, body and spirit. And a lot like building and storing energy or money as an example, you can deplete your Qi… so it’s important to start learning how to use it carefully. 

But we can also attain dangerous levels of Qi energy, so it’s equally important to “use” that energy or being careful of how and when you store it. Think of charging batteries and using things so the charge doesn’t run out.

So how to use energy?

Well, certainly Qi is useful in martial arts applications— after all that is where it was invented. But Qi can also be applied to every day life. For exercise, regular activities, games, chores, and any other movement activity. But Qi can equally be applied to the mind as well. In fact, it’s the mind aspect that is more important. 

Having “qi balance” in the mind provides more clarity, calm, confidence, and overall well-being. It aligns with a better mood, wellness, good health, and the ability for the “optimal Self.” 

So is Qi easy to develop?

Although there are some very simple ways to create energy (Qi) such as moving the body, deep breathing, imagining and contemplating, or intention—The best way to truly develop Qi is primarily through standing, sitting, and lying down meditation. Standing meditation allows you to work on several aspects simultaneously—balance, strength, endurance, posture, and awareness being some of them. When standing, you can easily practice focusing on where your energy is, where it moves, and where your energy is stagnant… and there’s a lot of more or less miraculous biological events happening throughout your body without you even knowing.

There have been numerous studies on bodily energy. Auras, signals, and literal evidential visual data exists showing the energy circulating around our bodies much like planetary orbits. Scientists and doctors are all fully aware of the magnificent energy that literally runs the heart, brain, and nervous system—the entire body.

Many martial arts are excellent Qi developing exercises, as is Yoga and many other practices. T’ai Chi and Qi Gong are certainly well known for developing incredible amounts of Qi. In fact a foundational component of them. Having practiced Judo, Kung Fu, T’ai Chi and Qigong now for over 40 years, I can say without a doubt that Qi is foundational, critical and apparent.

Thinking of Bruce Lee’s one inch punch, a well-executed Judo throw, or a beautiful yet powerful T’ai Chi form—are all initiated by intention and Qi. And Qi energy is about efficient use of “power”, not force. Simply put, energy is developed, nurtured and allowed to “flow” vs “force” which is literal forced or excessively pushed power that is very limited and short lived. And Qi is actually developed from gentleness or nothingness first. Very soft, very gentle—yet very, very powerful.

A real simple exercise is standing relaxed, and rubbing your hands together for about 30 seconds. This activates the nerves and energy in your hands. Then, gently and slowly separate you hands like you are holding a small soft ball. And very gently moving your hands away from each other about an inch, and then back again. I you are sensitive enough, you can actually feel the ball energy. And now imagine employing this with practice.

Sitting mediation allows you to focus on posture, mind control, focus, calmness, tranquility, and connecting with your deeper, spiritual Self. It simultaneously develops and nurtures Qi energy in a beautiful, gentle way. I like to think of Qi as a vital nutrient to my mind, body and spirit.

Lying down meditation provides a beautiful and supportive relaxation, ease-of-mind, and a more gentle body movements for those that suffer with physical discomfort. Much like napping or sleeping, it can sooth your energy and allow it to easily flow inside AND outside of you. And directed with intention, it can be felt moving around the body.

Any of these three though can all benefit your mind, body, and spiritual well being. Your Qi (vital mind, body and spiritual energy) will be developed, will grow, and if nurtured, provide a very balanced and healthy lifestyle.  

So while there is so much more to be known about Qi, these are some of the basics. And if you are open to it— I strongly encourage you to begin your own journey studying, practicing, nurturing, and TEACHING about Qi and it’s miraculous abilities.

Please email toddszen@gmail.com with comments or questions.

10 Steps for Creating Peace and Authenticity with Relatives

As taught by Dr, Wayne Dyer—my eternal teacher

Somehow we allow the expectations and demands of our family members to be the source of so much unhappiness and stress, when what we want is to be authentically ourselves and at peace with our relatives. The conflict seems too often to be a choice between being authentic, which means no peace with certain relatives, or having peace at the price of being inauthentic. Making the connection to the power of intention in regard to being around your relatives may sound like an oxymoron to you, but it isn’t. Being peaceful and authentic can define your relationship with your relatives. First, though, you may have to assess your relationship with the closest relative of all—you. How others treat you, you’ll discover, has a lot to do with how you treat yourself and thereby teach others to treat you. 

It is my intention to: be authentic and peaceful with all of my relatives. 

Let’s take a look at the steps you need to take in order to make this intention a reality. 

Step 1: Identify your intention verbally and in writing, and develop a deep yearning for it. When you create a great longing for the experience of a peaceful family, everything will begin to happen to fulfill this yearning spontaneously and naturally. Rather than praying to a saint or God for a miracle, pray for the miracle of the inner awakening, which will never leave you. The awakening of this inner light, once experienced, will become your constant companion, regardless of who you are with or where you are. The dynamic force is within you. This force is felt as great joy running through your body. Ultimately, your thinking will become sublime, and your inner and outer world will become one. Yearn for this awakening to the inner light, and long for your intention to manifest.

Step 2: Intend for all of your relatives what you intend for yourself. When anyone criticizes, judges, acts angry, expresses hatred, or finds fault with you, they’re not at peace with themselves. Want this peace for them even more than you desire it for yourself. By having this kind of intention for them, you take the focus off of you. This doesn’t require words or actions on your part. Simply picture the people in your family with whom you’re not at peace, and feel the peace you crave for them. Your inner speech will change, and you’ll begin to experience the peaceful authenticity of both your beings. 

Step 3: Be the peace you’re seeking from others. If peace is missing in your relationships with your family, it means that you have a place within you that’s occupied by non-peace. It may be filled with anxiety, fear, anger, depression, guilt, or any low-energy emotions. Rather than attempting to rid yourself of these feelings all at once, treat them the same as you do your relatives. Say a friendly Hello to the non-peace, and let it be. You’re sending a peaceful feeling to the non-peace feeling. The lower energies you’re experiencing will be strengthened by your peaceful Hi or Hello, and eventually vanish as the divine grows within you. The way to this peace is through any form of quiet and meditation that works for you. Even if it’s only a two-minute respite during which time you’re silent, concentrate on the name of the divine, or repeat that sound of “Aaahh” as an inner mantra. 

Step 4: Match up with the seven faces of intention. If you’ve forgotten what the universal mind of intention looks like, it’s creative, kind, loving, beautiful, always expanding, endlessly abundant, and receptive to all of life. Play the match game that I introduced earlier in this book, and very quietly and with unbending intent bring the face of the universal Source of all to the presence of everyone whom you feel brings you down or interferes with your peace. This kind of spiritual energy will be transformative—not only for you, but also for your relatives. Your intention to be in peaceful relationships is now taking form—first in your mind, then in your heart—and ultimately, it will materialize. 

Step 5: Review all the obstacles that have been erected on your path to familial peace. Listen to any inner dialogue that focuses on your resentment of others’ expectations for you. Remind yourself that when you think about what you resent, you act upon what you think about, while simultaneously attracting more of it to you. Examine your energy level for your tendency to react to lower energies with more of the same, and give your ego a reminder that you’ll no longer opt to be offended, or need to be right in these relationships. 

Step 6: Act as if. Begin the process of acting as if what you intend to manifest is already true. See everyone in your family in the love and light that is their true identity. When someone asked Baba Muktananda, a great saint in India, “Baba, what do you see when you look at me?” Baba said, “I see the light in you.” The person replied, “How can that be, Baba? I am an angry person. I am terrible. You must see all that.” Baba said, “No, I see light.” (This story is told by Swami Chidvilasananda Gurumayi in Kindle My Heart.) 

So, see the light in those others, and treat them as if that is all you see. 

Step 7: Detach from the outcome. Don’t let your authentic and peaceful attitude depend on your relatives’ behavior. As long as you remain connected to intention and radiate outward the high energy, achieved your peace. It’s not your place or your purpose to make everyone else in your family think, feel, and believe as you do. The likelihood is great that you’ll see dramatic changes in your relatives as you teach them with your own persona how you intend to be treated. But if they don’t change, and if they continue their nonpeaceful ways, let go of your need to see them transformed. It all works in divine order, and the saying Letting go and letting God is a helpful reminder for you. By letting go, you guarantee your own peace, and you dramatically increase the odds of helping others to do the same. 

Step 8: Affirm: I attract only peace into my life. I once reminded myself of this affirmation many times on a given day, particularly with my children and other more distant relatives. I also practiced this in grocery stores, when greeting flight attendants, when visiting the post office, and while driving my automobile. I said this silently to myself as an absolute truth with unbending intent on my part, and it worked for me all the time. People responded to me with smiles, acknowledgments, friendly gestures, and kind greetings all day long. I also reminded myself of the cogent observation from A Course in Miracles when I felt other than peaceful in any given moment with my family: I can choose peace, rather than this. 

Step 9: Hold no grudges, and practice forgiveness. The key to having peace in all your family relationships is forgiveness. Your relatives are simply doing what they’ve been taught to do over a lifetime, and the lifetimes of many of their ancestors. Shower them with understanding and forgiveness from your heart.

This passage from A Course in Miracles offers so much in the fulfillment of this intention: 

Do you want peace? Forgiveness offers it. Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world?

Do you want a quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that can never be hurt, a deep abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset?

All this forgiveness offers you. 

Step 10: Be in a state of gratitude. Rather than being in a state of non-peace concerning any family members, say a prayer of gratitude for their presence in your life and all that they have come to teach you. 

These are the ten steps that you can practice each day. As you work toward the absolute knowing that this intention will manifest for you, remind yourself on a daily basis that you can never remedy a bad relationship by condemning it.  

Wing Chun Basics

Wing Chun (which can be translated roughly as beautiful springtime, or everlasting springtime) is considered a more contemporary and newer form of martial arts or Kung Fu style. It is one of many, but considered one of the primary, traditional Southern Chinese Kung Fu styles and form of self-defense, developed about 300 years ago in the late 1700s. Wing Chun became very popular in American culture by a man named Yip Man (Master Ip, or Ip Man), the eventual teacher of Bruce Lee, as well as many others.

Wing Chun History

Wing Chun is said to have been founded in the late 1700s in a Shaolin temple by a nun (a female monk) who was said to be inspired by a confrontation between a crane and a snake or rodent. She developed the foundations of Wing Chun by observing the skills of these animals, which was still a nameless style at this point. Shaolin monks were also simultaneously influenced at the time by a traveling Monk named Sadartha Gautama (the Buddha) who had taught many of the skills of mediation, mindfulness, and other spiritual practices… along with many other masters of the day like Lau Tzu and others. All of these teachings, although many were closely kept secrets, were spread around the world. So we really have a beautiful combination of physical, spiritual, and philosophical practices that combined into some of the most beautiful martial arts—Wing Chun being one of those. 

Keeping in mind also the turmoil in the 1700s with battling emperors, leaders, and factions of that time and place, which certainly had an effect on how people protected themselves. Combined with ancient martial arts practice, to protect themselves and their families, especially against the soldiers—who were much stronger than the women of the temple of Shaolin, which was eventually burned down by soldiers. A female monk (nun) named Ng Mui (or Wu Mei) was said to be one of five survivors.

Wu Mai later passed her teachings on when a 15 year old girl named Yim Wing Chun approached her and asked her to teach her martial arts. At the time, Yim Wing Chun was being forced into marriage by a local warlord and needed a method to defend herself and her freedom. After she was able to successfully defend herself, Yim Wing Chun continued to develop this style and passed her interpretations and techniques to her husband, Leung Bok-Chau. Many years later after Yim Wing Chun passed away, her husband credited her with the style, naming it “Wing Chun Kuen” (Wing Chun Boxing) and traveled while spreading Wing Chun.

Basic lineage

Over the years, Wing Chun was handed down to only a small number of dedicated students. Yim Wing Chun taught it to her husband, Leung Bok Chau, who in turn passed on the knowledge to Leung Yee Tai and Wong Wah Bo. Leung Yee Tai then taught Leung Jan, who went on to teach his son, Leung Bik, and Chan Wah Shun. Both of these practitioners taught Yip Man, who himself later went on to become a legend in martial arts circles and is still spoken of today.

Grandmaster Yip Man is credited with having rescued Wing Chun from having been wiped out in the Chinese Cultural Revolution by migrating to Hong Kong in 1948 and introducing the style to the general public. Renowned as a teacher and an invincible fighter, he is considered to have refined and further perfected the system.

Grandmaster Chu Shong Tin was one of Yip Man’s earliest students, having commenced his training in 1951, and became one of his main instructors. Acknowledged during his early years as the 'King of Siu Nim Tau’, he is today the world’s leading authority on Wing Chun Kung Fu.

Grandmaster Jim Fung, who became Grandmaster Chu’s student in 1960, was one of the very few Wing Chun practitioners throughout the years who learned the entire Wing Chun system and reached the level of ability and understanding to be recognized as a Grandmaster.

Wing Chun differed greatly from other Kung Fu styles of the time in its theory, the structure of its movements and means of generating force. Although originally “inspired by” nature, was not purely based on imitation (such as directly copying animal movements), but on natural, scientific laws, eliminating unnecessary movements to overcome and generate force in the most efficient way. A practice found in many ancient traditions.

There are 6 forms in Wing Chun: 3 empty hand, 2 weapon, and 1 dummy

1. Sil Lim Tao (or Siu Nim Tao)

2. Chum Kiu

3. Biu Jee

4. Dummy (Cantonese: Muk Yan Jong; lit. “Wooden Man Post”) (108 forms, originally Ip Man had 116)

5. Pole

6. Knife

Ip Man once noted that Chi Sau in Wing Chun is to maintain one's feeling of opponent's movement by staying relaxed all the while keeping the strength to fight back, much like the flexible nature of bamboo. The emphasis is the “center line” of the body.

The Core Concepts

Centerline Theory

The centerline is a straight line drawn from the centre of the Wing Chun exponent's body to the centre of their opponent's body. It is the shortest and most direct path along which to attack and defend.

Strikes down the centerline such as the Wing Chun straight punch or palm strike have less distance to travel and are much faster than strikes which curve or deviate from the centerline.

In a situation where the Wing Chun exponent is caught off center, instead of disengaging, the Wing Chun exponent will quickly redirect their opponent to regain control of the centerline and then continue striking through.

Centerline theory allows the Wing Chun exponent to maximize their force by ensuring that their body's centre of mass is behind every attack and defense. An example of the incredible amount of force that can be generated by a close-range centrerline punch is Grandmaster Jim Fung's famous one-inch punch.

Stance and Guard

Wing Chun's front-on stance and guard has several distinct advantages over side-on stances:

• It allows the Wing Chun practitioner to use their arms and legs to protect their entire body, with an emphasis on protecting the body's vital organs - most of which are located along a vertical line which runs down the centre of the body.

• It does not expose vulnerable blind spots to the opponent, such as the back of the body.

• It allows the Wing Chun practitioner to strike quickly and without warning from both sides of their body instead of disadvantaging one side in favor of the other.

• It allows the Wing Chun practitioner to use up to three limbs at once (2 arms and leg).

Most importantly, the stance forms the basis of Wing Chun's internal structure, which allows the Wing Chun practitioner to overcome and generate large amounts of force in a relaxed state.

The Application of Centerline Theory to Defense

The position of the Wing Chun guard on the centerline forces the opponent to deviate from the centerline to strike around the guard, causing him to waste time and leave himself open to attack. A strike directed at the Wing Chun practitioner's guard is easy deflected by a centerline punch.

Centerline theory is also applied when kicking and defending against kicks, and in many instances allows the Wing Chun exponent to defend themselves whilst simultaneously attacking their opponent.

The Adaptability of the Wing Chun Stance and Guard

The Wing Chun stance is extremely mobile and allows the Wing Chun practitioner to move quickly from their centre of mass in any direction.

Due to the advantages of a square-on (or front-on) stance, the Wing Chun practitioner will always try to remain square on to their opponent. This is easily achieved through a small pivot of the body.

Even when they are not square-on to their opponent, the Wing Chun practitioner may still defend themselves effectively as the centerline automatically adapts to their opponent's position.

This allows the Wing Chun exponent to respond efficiently and effectively to an attack from the side when there is not enough time to turn to face the opponent square-on.

In appropriate situations, kicks may also be delivered to the side of the body.

An Effective Form of Self Defense

The centerline theory and stance and guard are two examples of the comprehensive and refined theoretical foundation of the Wing Chun system.

Five Principles

In his 'blue book', Wing Chun Kung Fu, Grandmaster Jim Fung described the Wing Chun system as consisting of a logical and comprehensive set of principles, which he defined as 'simplicity, directness, practicality, economy of movement, and minimum use of brute strength'.

Simplicity

Wing Chun's techniques are based on natural body movements which are simple and easy to apply. For example, a young lady responds to the bag snatcher by turning her body to draw him and her bag towards her, whilst simultaneously delivering a powerful elbow strike to his head.

When you are dealing with a sudden, unexpected attack, there is no time to go through a vast array of complicated techniques in your head before deciding which one to use on your attacker. Wing Chun's simple and natural movements allow it to be applied instantly in any circumstance.

Directness

Wing Chun's strikes take the shortest and most direct path to their target. The Wing Chun exponent's aim is to always land the first strike by attacking and defending in the same movement.

For example, when a young man is pulled into the knee strike, he goes with the force of the pull and delivers a powerful double chit sau to the first attacker's mid-section while simultaneously deflecting the knee strike. He then redirects the second attacker's punch with a reverse tan sau whilst simultaneously delivering a palm strike to the attacker's head, which he follows up with a side slash to the throat. All simultaneously.

The principle of directness originates from Wing Chun's Centerline Theory, which allows the Wing Chun practitioner to attack and defend in one movement by striking down the centerline. This makes the Wing Chun practitioner fast and efficient, which is crucial to realistic self defense, particularly when more than one attacker is involved.

The key? Efficiency of power and skill. Speed and directness.

Practicality

Wing Chun is a realistic self defense system which can be used anywhere, any time and in any type of circumstance or clothing.

For example one’s first response to chaos is to try and calm the situation down. Failing that, he counters the first attacker's strike by redirecting it away from his body with a gan sau whilst delivering a punch to the attacker's face. When the second attacker comes in with a swing of the baseball bat, so now you might redirect a bat being swung at you down and away from his body with a double fook sau and uses the momentum of the swing to throw the attacker to the ground. Again, simultaneously.

The Wing Chun system emphasizes efficiency over variety and does not use showy or theatrical movements. It can be applied in any self defense situation; even in an unexpected situation involving multiple attackers wielding weapons.

Economy of Movement

Wing Chun emphasizes the use of efficient movements to achieve the most effective outcome - minimum effort for maximum result.

Another example, someone using the force of the first attacker's push, she then uses her entire bodyweight to deliver a powerful double palm strike to the second attacker's chest. In one motion, she then pivots her body to deliver a side slash to the first attacker's head, thereby neutralizing his grab and knocking him out.

Wing Chun uses short, sharp movements to attack and defend. This allows the Wing Chun exponent to be effective, even in a cramped environment like an elevator. It also allows the Wing Chun exponent to conserve energy to engage other attackers if necessary.

Minimum use of brute strength

The Wing Chun system allows smaller practitioners to easily overcome larger and stronger attackers through its non reliance on physical size or strength. When striking, the Wing Chun practitioner strives to relax and maximize the amount of body weight in their strikes, instead of tensing up and holding their weight back. When defending, the Wing Chun practitioner relaxes and uses structure, leverage and redirection to overcome their attacker, rather than hard blocking.

By using a double bong sau movement, you might redirect a downward force of the first attacker's stab and then takes him down him with a palm strike and hook kick. When engaging a second attacker, you might shift your entire bodyweight with a chit sau to the attacker's stabbing arm to deflect the stab. Then follow up with a latch and knee strike to the attacker's solar plexus.

In a real-life attack, your attacker is likely to be larger or stronger than you. No matter what form of self defense you use, if you rely on your own physical strength to defend yourself, a stronger attacker will always be able to strike through your defense. You cannot always rely on being faster than your attacker and landing the first punch or dodging your attacker's strike - particularly when the attack is unexpected.

Wing Chun's non-reliance on brute strength allows the Wing Chun practitioner to overcome larger and stronger opponents with relative ease. It also teaches them to maximize their body weight in all movements, which allows the Wing Chun practitioner to generate greater striking power than their muscles alone could ever generate.

Skills for Close Range Combat

Chi Sau, or ‘Sticking Hands’, is a Wing Chun training exercise designed to develop close range combat skills. In close range combat, your ability to see an incoming strike a punch and react by reflex is greatly diminished, which is where the skills developed through Chi Sau apply.

The aim of Chi Sau is to learn through touch any shift in an opponent’s body position which indicates an eminent attack. Training the arms to have ‘a mind of their own’ allows a Wing Chun practitioner to instinctively break an opponent’s structure and remove their ability to apply force.

A thorough understanding of the Siu Nim Tau form is essential before a student can undertake training in Chi Sau as movements between the two forms are closely related.

Benefits of Chi Sau

Correct training in Chi Sau offers many benefits including:

• Improved hand speed;

• Shorter reaction time;

• Heightened sensitivity, allowing one to find a hole in an opponent’s defence instantly;

• More power;

• Better balance;

• The ability to control an opponent at all times; and

• The ability to apply the strongest structure against the weakest structure of the opponent.
  

How it is Practiced

In practicing Chi Sau, the Wing Chun practitioner learns to intercept an opponent’s arms, trap his hands and strike through simultaneously. The exercise is performed with constant forward force and the arms ‘soft’ and relaxed enough to ‘stick’ to those of the opponent.

The arms are moved in a continuous, circular motion involving movements known as Tan Sau, Dai Sau, Fook Sau and Bong Sau. Using the concept of a circle, the Wing Chun exponent's arms are constantly repositioned or 'rolled' while searching for or creating an opening in the opponent’s defense so that the Wing Chun exponent may strike through.

Chi Sau Exercises and Drills

These exercises build on the structural aspects of the Siu Nim Tau form, further developing relaxation and looseness in the joints. Students progress through Single Chi Sau, where the basics are taught using one arm, to Double Chi Sau, where both arms are used simultaneously, to refining and building the skills of both in Lap Sau.

Once competency is attained in the static Chi Sau arm movements, stepping and pivoting is introduced, training the practitioner to utilize body mass, deflect an opponent’s force and adjust positioning. Once he is able to move freely and maintain all other Chi Sau movements, other skills including trapping, engaging and disengaging with an opponent and arm movements from the three Wing Chun empty hand forms and Mook Yan Jong (Wooden Dummy form) may be introduced

Blindfold fighting is a true test of Chi Sau skills, testing the ability of the practitioner’s arms to operate independently of sight and to control and manipulate a partner by touch and reflex. It takes many years of training under a qualified master before these movements become natural reactions.

The Forms

Siu Nim Tao

Siu Nim Tao is the first “open-hand” form of Wing Chun Kung Fu. And while there are significant differences in this form depending on schools and branches, the fundamentals are very similar. In Ip Man’s Wing Chun Siu Nim Tao the first section of the form is done by training the basic power for the hand techniques by tensing and relaxing the arms.

Chum Kiu

The second form, Chum Kiu, focuses on coordinated movement of body mass and entry techniques to "bridge the gap" between practitioner and opponent, and move in to disrupt their structure and balance. Close-range attacks using the elbows and knees are also developed here. It also teaches methods of recovering position and centerline when in a compromised position where Siu Nim Tau structure has been lost.

Biu Jee

The more secretive form reserved for advanced students, he third form, and the last form Biu Jee, is composed of extreme short-range and extreme long-range techniques, low kicks and sweeps, and "emergency techniques" to counter-attack when structure and centerline have been seriously compromised, such as when the practitioner is seriously injured. As well as pivoting and stepping developed in Chum Kiu, a third-degree of freedom involves more upper body and stretching is developed for more power. Such movements include close-range elbow strikes and finger thrusts to the throat. 

The Wooden Dummy

The Wing Chun wooden dummy is the most popular form of wooden dummy. A popular legend says it came about when 108 separate wooden dummies from the Shaolin Temple were combined into one by the nun Ng Mui to make training more efficient and effective. The Wing Chun wooden dummy uses an arm and leg configuration designed to cultivate fighting skill and chi simultaneously. Today there are many versions of the dummy but all are used for the same purpose.

Butterfly Sword

Butterfly swords are used in several Chinese martial arts, notably in Wing Chun. In Wing Chun, one notable aspect of butterfly sword combat is that its principles are the basis for all other weaponry. In theory, any object that can be held in the hands of a Wing Chun practitioner will follow the same basic principles of movement as the butterfly swords. This is because the use of butterfly swords is simply an extension of empty-handed combat.

Long Pole

A tapered wooden pole ranging anywhere from 8 to 13 feet in length. Also referred to as "dragon pole" by some branches. This form is very popular in most Kung Fu training, but emphasized uniquely in styles such as Wing Chun. With it, you not only learn to use the weapon itself, but you also learn to develop power generation for more penetrating and devastating punches.

In short, Wing Chun—this beautiful and powerful Kung Fu martial art style can be used and celebrated as an honored tradition, as a part of your personal martial arts growth (physically, mentally, and spiritually) as well as an excellent form of self defense. Developed over 300 years ago in Southern China and made culturally popular in America through Master Ip Man and Bruce Lee, it is a very popular style practiced by many thousands of people around the world.

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What’s the difference between T’ai Chi and Qigong?

What’s the difference between T’ai Chi and Qigong?

The ancient, beautiful, and mysterious arts of T’ai Chi and Qigong are best known for their “cool” and inspirational martial arts movements. Slow moving, and fascinating Chinese masters on the mountains… enlightened masters meditating and healing others. And while most all of that is true, there is a much broader and very special aspect to these ancient treasures.

Basic definitions of T’ai Chi and Chigong

Qigong, qi gong, chi kung, chi 'ung, or chi gung is a system of coordinated body-posture and movement, breathing, and meditation used for the purposes of health, spirituality, and martial-arts training.

Tai chi, short for T'ai chi ch'üan or Tàijí quán, is an internal Chinese martial art practiced for defense training, health benefits, and meditation. “Internal” by virtue of the inner power, or power from softness and stillness, or use of inner spirit, energy, or “Qi (pronounced “Chee”). And while internal as defined, it certainly has an “external” component as well—expressing many physical forms and techniques, essentially martial art movements with a very slow, calm, soft, yet powerful flow. The emphasis and most important aspect however IS the internal.  

Taijiquan, as I was taught

As I was taught, Taijiquan is an ancient Daoist philosophical term symbolizing the interaction of yin and yang. The classic round black and white symbol. Opposite manifestations of the forces in nature. The changing of all things. In the classic “Taiji” diagram, where Taiji can be translated as “grand extreme” and “quan” meaning basically fist or boxing. So essentially, “Grand extreme boxing.” And it’s very important to think about yin and yang as complimentary opposites. Each gives birth to the other. The essential teaching here is that hardness comes from softness, and speed comes from stillness. There is much, much more to Taijiquan, but these are important basics.

Variations of T’ai Chi and Qigong

There are many variations of T’ai Chi and Qi Gong around the world. They all originated in ancient China long ago— and both serving a cohesive, yet different purpose.

T’ai Chi—has many definitions, descriptions, and meanings around the world, with varying stories, traditions, and beliefs, but primarily all tend to point to the same thing. And although principally the same, even in its traditional Chinese roots there is a great deal of variance among its own history. Keeping in mind that as time goes on and styles evolve, slight variations occur thus affecting the accuracy of (THE) meaning. But principally it is all the same.

T’ai Chi been said and taught that it originated first as a healing art. Slow movements, light touch, and energy cultivation behind the art of Qigong. Qigong is traditionally viewed by the Chinese and throughout Asia as a practice to cultivate and balance Qi. Qi is a concept from traditional Chinese culture that roughly means vital energy, information, breath, life energy or spirit, among other definitions‚ but primarily think of it as energy—the energy in all things.

“Gong," although translated in many ways, in Gong Fu (or Kung Fu as said in many American cultures), as well as in Qigong, generally means “cultivation” or “mastery.” But as my teacher has taught, Gong has a much broader and special, deeper meaning. I am only focusing here on the basics.

Qigong practice typically involves moving meditation, coordinating slow-flowing movement, deep rhythmic breathing, and a calm meditative state of mind. People practice qigong throughout China and worldwide for recreation, exercise, relaxation, preventive medicine, self-healing, alternative medicine, meditation, self-cultivation, and training for martial arts. 

And while there are many studies linking wellness to these traditions, there are equally as many studies showing there is no affect. So it ultimately is left to personal belief— after all, your truth and my truth may be different than the real and actual truth! 

Me personally, I believe whole heartedly behind it and its affects on our spirit, soul, and body—as well as the affect it has on others. It’s no secret that that (1) everything is made of mysterious energy, (2) movement is a vital part of human existence and health—which in includes flexibility, strength, balance, and motion, and (3) the spiritual component of the human condition is mysterious, factual, and easily affected by positive and negative thought patterns, practices, methods, etc… All of these things go hand in hand. 

So Qigong and T’ai Chi, for me especially, play an important role in bettering my Self as well as in helping others. Both work together FIRST as an internal art or practice—developing vital energy and spirit from the universal, earthly, or Godly spirit (or Chi, Qi, Dao, etc…). External power—which can be impressive, is merely a way to exert, express, and impove physical energy, strengthen and improve cardiovascular, ligament, tendon, and muscle wellness—as well as martial art skill. The ancient teachers, and even my current friend and master teacher will always teach non-violence, and not focus on the “fighting skill.” Not to use it as a “kicking ass” technique. In fact, most good teachers won’t even accept students like this, and this practice moves you much farther away from the true and deeper skills.

Think of T’ai Chi and Qigong as a very special, ancient body, mind, and spiritual practice that can contribute to nurturing, development, and training the best version of yourself.

Historically speaking, Confucianism may have used it to promote longevity and improve moral character. In Daoism and Buddhism as part of meditative practice, and in Chinese martial arts to enhance self defending abilities. Traditionally, qigong was taught by master to students through training and oral transmission, with an emphasis on meditative practice by scholars and gymnastic or dynamic practice by the working masses. It became— and still is, a very important part of Chinese culture, as well as making its way around the world.

As moving meditation, qigong practice typically coordinates slow stylized movement, deep diaphragmatic breathing, and calm mental focus, with visualization of guiding qi through the body. While implementation details vary, generally qigong forms can be characterized as a mix of four types of practice: dynamic, static, meditative, and activities requiring external aids.

Qigong forms and practice

There are numerous qigong forms. Roughly 75+ ancient forms from what I could find, that can be found in ancient literature and also roughly 56+ common or contemporary forms have been described in a qigong compendium and literature. The list is by no means exhaustive. Many contemporary forms were developed by people who had recovered from their illness after qigong practice.

Most of the qigong forms come under the following categories: Medical qigong, Martial qigong, Spiritual qigong, Intellectual qigong, and Life nourishing qigong. Some forms include (but certainly not limited to) Health Qigong Muscle-Tendon Change Classic (Health Qigong Yì Jīn Jīng), Health Qigong Five Animals Frolics (Health qigong Wu Qin Xi), Health Qigong Six Healing Sounds (Health Qigong Liu Zi Jue) and Health Qigong Eight Pieces of Brocade (Health Qigong Ba Duan Jin).

Techniques of QiGong

The most advanced practice is generally considered to be with little or no motion. Whether viewed from the perspective of exercise, health, philosophy, or martial arts training, several main principles emerge concerning the practice of qigong:

• Intentional movement: careful, flowing balanced style

• Rhythmic breathing: slow, deep, coordinated with fluid movement

• Awareness: calm, focused meditative state

• Visualization: of qi flow, philosophical tenets, aesthetics

• Chanting/Sound: use of sound as a focal point

• Softness: soft gaze, gentle, expressionless face

• Solid Stance: firm footing, erect spine

• Relaxation: relaxed muscles, slightly bent joints

• Balance and Counterbalance: motion over the center of gravity

• Equanimity: more fluid, more relaxed

• Tranquility: empty mind, high awareness

• Stillness: smaller and smaller movements, eventually to complete stillness

T’ai Chi forms and practice 

Tai chi's formative influences allegedly came from Taoist and Buddhist monasteries. Ways in which locals, families, and individuals could maintain a healthy way of life, as well as protect themselves from factions, armies, or enemies. It was written however, that T’ai Chi’s roots stem from the Chen family village, by Chen Bu, a skilled martial artist. There is a LOT of history here, so I encourage you to read and research further.

While tai chi is typified by its slow movements, many styles (including the three most popular: Yang, Wu and Chen) have secondary, faster-paced forms. Some traditional schools teach partner exercises known as pushing hands, and martial applications of the postures of different forms.

Essentially, T’ai Chi practice combines meditation, movement, push hands, drills, self defense techniques, balance, core work, and forms, as well as a very important aspect of “internal” energy, or mental and spiritual emphasis.

There are basically five major styles of T’ai Chi, named after the Chinese families who originated them:

Chen, Yang, Wu Hao, Wu, and Sun. Each style shares the underlying theory, but their training differs. And dozens of new styles, hybrid styles, and offshoots followed, although the family schools are accepted as standard by the international community. 

How T’ai Chi and Qigong relate

Qigong involves coordinated movement, breath, and awareness used for health, meditation, and martial arts. While many scholars and practitioners consider tai chi to be a type of qigong, the two are commonly seen as separate but closely related practices. Qigong plays an important role in training for tai chi. Many tai chi movements are part of qigong practice. The focus of qigong is typically more on health or meditation than martial applications. Internally the main difference is the flow of qi. In qigong, the flow of qi is held at a gate point for a moment to aid the opening and cleansing of the channels as they are called. In tai chi, the flow of qi is continuous, thus allowing the development of power by the practitioner. Again, the emphasis is on the “grand extreme” or opposites. They work together—hand-in-hand, as do most things in life.

If you are interested in a very deep, spiritual, and fascinating mind, body and spiritual practice, I encourage you to look more into Qigong and T’ai Chi. There are hundreds if not thousands of books, movies, videos, and articles on these practices— and endless information online. For me, an absolutely beautiful and honorable part of my own physical and spiritual growth that helps me not only better myself, but to help others achieve their best.

My recommendation would be to start with my teacher, master Yang Yang. He and his teachings can all be found online at https://www.wa-qi.com where you can study, practice and learn from your own home. He also has books and videos available as well. Beyond that— start your journey. Right where you are. One step at a time. And then, grow, learn, and practice— and share that with others.

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Discovering your gifts

Every single event in our life, including every personality trait we have can teach us something if we let it. Life can be seen as either a series of crap and random nonsense that happens to us, or a life lived on purpose—driven by our consistent drive to connect with our deepest and truest version of our Self. That true Self is how you were created and WHY you were created. Unique, different, and most certainly on purpose.

Spiritual awakening, religious endeavors, enlightenment—call it what you will, but it all points to the same thing. Discovering the real You. And we each have certain traits, abilities, personalities, moods, and so forth that make us unique. And these traits are BOTH gifts AND hinderances. Let me explain.

Take the personality trait of anger for example. You get angry easily and vicious sometimes, thus hurting your self and others with your rage. Simultaneously however, you might not be able to see this, but it’s also high energy. You have an incredible ability to get super-charged, full of red hot energy, much like the sun. Passion, drive, ferocity that can lead groups and businesses to high levels of success. You don’t flounder in the abysmal dungeon of sadness and grief. Anger as you call it, is really your gift of red hot energy.

Now— that is a gift. The flip side is that anger causes high blood pressure, created inner turmoil, and can severely hurt others. Easily! And that is a hinderance. So it’s important to understand the difference, but also the relationship of the Ying/Yang opposites and how they work together. Gifts and hinderances working together.

For me, what use to be labeled as “depression, sadness, over sensitive, soft, weak, over-emotional, too concerned for others, and “wussy-like” — is actually empathetic, compassionate, caring, loving, kind, considerate, respectful, strongly connected to all emotions of self and others, and genuine. The gifts, but can be misconstrued as all negative, and in need of some kind of pharmacology-induced substance to “stop” that from happening.

What’s REALLY happening, is your TRUE Self is calling out, SCREAMING OUT for you to become your best Self. That horrible disconnected, hollow, empty, lonely, sorrowful, dark and ugly place is nothing more that your God-given Self saying “LET ME OUT, GET ME OUT OF HERE!” And in a good way. Shedding all the nonsense and old labels and becoming what you were meant to become. Nature has your back! A tree knows how to be a tree, an apple knows how to be an apple, and a cat knows how to be a cat. Nature unfolds, the way it was designed.

It’s merely mankind, and it’s EGO that manifests more and more of that false, negative, fake, and artificiality that leaves so many feeling “lost.” When all they need to do is let go and let God as they say… ALLOW your real Self to be. Stop pretending to be something you are not.

A strong caution here though. Let’s be careful with what we “think” are gifts, when they might not be. How do we know the difference? We’ll explore that quickly with a few key questions, but primarily, the gifts you have would serve the world, the community, and others in a profound and beautiful way. It’s about how we serve others, and connect to the higher good— our higher calling. Also I often put it this way, whatever your belief system is: Imagine you are sitting in front of the one who created you. For me God, but call it whatever you like and imagine that. You now express to them your “gift,” would they agree? Would they approve?

Here are a few questions to help you discover your “gifts”

1. What personality trait is strongest in you at the top of the list?

2. What special abilities do you have that most others do not?

3. What do you LOVE doing, and makes life just amazing?

4. What is it about you that really helps, or COULD HELP many others?

5. List as many positive traits about yourself as you can—be free and imaginative!

Next, here are a few questions to help you discover your hinderances

1. What personality trait tends to get you in trouble?

2. What part about yourself do you hate most? and why?

3. What part about yourself do others often complain about?

4. What part about yourself tends to hold you back?

5. List as many of your negative traits as possible— things you hate!

Now, look at your list of positives, and negatives and do the following:

1. See if any cross over or relate in some way

2. Looking at the negatives, which of those might really work FOR you if you could put a positive spin on them? (how they might actually serve the world)

3. Focus on the things you LOVE doing, those things tend to connect you to who you really are. Explore that some more, and make more of THAT a part of your life

These few questions help us discover more about who we are deep down. It’s an exercise that is really not much more than “mindfulness,” being thoughtful and concentrating on your traits so you can examine them more closely. Without doing that, we never truly see the better Self. We simply hide behind a false sense of who we are (EGO) and not living up to the life we deserve. And an important part of that is knowing our gifts AND our hinderances. 

One more note on the hinderances. It’s very important to see those, understand those, and to LET THEM GO. They do not serve you in any way, and that’s why they are called hinderances. They hinder you from being your best Self! So learn what your gifts are, and start nurturing, tending to them and developing new habits to build on and start to see your life develop in a whole new direction!

Don’t forget the simple things

Remember a moment in your life where you were excited about something. A new friend, a new song, a new toy, a vacation, a book, etc… What a happy, gracious moment.

What is it in us that tends to make us forget that moment of peace, grace, and contentment? Why do we want more, need more, crave more? It seems to be our nature, but there’s something far deeper that is better. That place that appreciates, smiles, and enjoys that one moment. That moment existed and still does— it came from somewhere right? So it must always be there because it was created as such.

With no effort. I think by having an attitude of gratitude, meaning just allowing that grace to “be.” And to never forget it. Be mindful and appreciative of even the most simplest of things. The breath, the heartbeat. The sip of a tea. Simple. Then, all else you can do with or without, and handle with grace. Nice to have, but not NEED to have. Do this, and float calmly with a gentleness inside that allows you to flow through life with much more balance.

Appreciate the simple things, graciously accept the wonders that do appear, and not be disappointed by not craving them or getting them. Be happy with what you have, and gently strive for things that you want to achieve, but for the right reasons. And be honest. Are you craving it or nurturing it? Are you sharing it, or hoarding it for your ego-false-self?

We often disrespect the blessings we receive. We want more, crave more, need more, and create more vicious cycles. Sit. Enjoy. BE that contentment with anything and welcome all. Even the most unpleasant things carry with it blessings in disguise.

Being sick provides a wider perspective on how wonderful it is to feel healthy. The rainy day gives nourishment to the earth, and then moves to sunlight. The broken “things” can be left alone, or fixed— fine tuning patience and skills. So do not forget those simple happy moments.

They have always been there, and always will be. It’s how we were created to be.

How are you feeling?

I was thinking, which is a bad idea anyway… but in this case, thinking creatively to help you understand something. We often get hung up with how we feel. And you ever notice that we tend to get hung up on the negative emotions more than the positive emotions. As it’s said in Buddhism, a few key reasons for suffering is our clinging, our aversions, and cravings. We crave good feelings, and push away unpleasant feelings. In truth‚ most of what we feel are “neutral.” Neither good or bad. So why cling to the negative? Because we don’t like it. It scares us. We don’t like being uncomfortable, and we prefer warmth—comforts.

It’s wise to practice sitting with it all. Being 100% present for all of it, no matter what it is. And accept the deep truth that (1) it’s usually neutral if you are honest… (2) that good and bad, all pass… never permanent. And (3) third, that we not only welcome all of it and accept it and be the observer of it, but learn to FOCUS on the positive side of it all. One example is that you might be “sad” but in reality, you have love for something, and that’s a “good” thing! So be careful about what you “think” you feel. And here is a rough list of many of the emotions or feelings we can have throughout a day. All of these, not just one or two— in fact, most of this list I assembled over only a few days!

A list of common feelings we can have each day:

abandoned

acceptance

adoration

affection

aggravated

agitated

agressive

alert

amazed

ambitious

amused

anger, anger2

animosity

annoyed

anticipation

anxiousness

appreciative

apprehensive

ardent

aroused

ashamed

astonished

attraction (sexual)

attraction (intellectual)

attraction (spiritual)

awed

betrayed

bewildered

bitter

bliss

blue

boastful

bored

breathless

bubbly

calamitous

calm

camaraderie

cautious

cheerful

cocky

cold

collected

comfortable

compassionate

concerned

confident

confused

contempt

content

courageous

cowardly

crafty

cranky

crazy

cruelty

crummy

crushed

curious

cynic

dark

dejected

delighted

delirious

denial

depression

desire poem

despair

determined

devastated

disappointed

discouraged

disgust

disheartened

dismal

dispirited

distracted

distressed

dopey

down

dreadful

dreary

eager

ecstatic

embarrassed

emotional-detest

empathic

emptiness

enchanted

enigmatic

enlightened

enraged

enthralled

enthusiastic

envy

euphoric

excited

exhausted

expectation

exuberance

fascinated

fear

flabbergasted

fight-or-flight

foolish

frazzled

freaked out

frustrated

fulfillment

furious

gay

giddy

gleeful

gloomy

goofy

grateful

gratified

greedy

Gray because of a Broken Heart

grief

grouchy

grudging

guilty

happy 

hate

heartbroken

homesick

hopeful

hopeless

horrified

horrible

hostile

humiliated

humored

hurt

hyper

hysterical

indignation

infatuation

infuriated

inner peace

innocent

insanity

insecure

insecure

inspired

interest

intimidated

invidious

irate

irritability

irritated

jaded

jealousy

joy

jubilant

kind

lazy

left out

liberated

lively

loathsome

lonely

longing

love

lovesick

loyal

lust

mad

mean

melancholic

mellow

mercy

merry

mildness

miserable

morbid

mourning

needed

needy

nervous

obscene

obsessed

offended

optimistic

outraged

overwhelmed

pacified

pain

panicky

paranoia

passion

pathetic

peaceful

perturbation

pessimistic

petrified

pity

playful

pleased

pleasure

possessive

pride

provoked

proud

puzzled

rage

regretful

relief

remorse

resentment

resignation

resolved

sad

sadness

satisfied

scared

scorn

selfish

sensual

sensitive

sexy

shame

sheepish

shocked

shy

sick

sickly

sickened

sincerity

solemn

somber

sorrow

sorry

spirited

stressed

strong

submissive

superior

surprised

sweet

sympathetic

temperamental

tense

terrified

threatened

thrilled

tired

tranquil

troubled

trust

tormented

uncertainty

uneasiness

unhappy

upset

vengeful

vicious

warm

weary

worn-out

worried

worthless

wrathful

yearning

zesty

zippy

What else can you learn from a bunch of pumpkins?

I sat there and just sort of stared at the pumpkins in that field. AAnd looking up close I saw these little vines connecting them all to one another, and there were so many pumpkins—little pumpkins, big pumpkins and medium pumpkins.

Different-colored pumpkins and there were gorgeous squashes and things… but what I noticed was that they were all intertwined with the same vines. And although some were decaying and dying, many of them were still living quite well and vibrant and stuff, and I don’t know, I just sort of looked at that and I started thinking of the way of the world today and how we sort of are all connected the same way… you know in a goofy way, but symbolically.

But we really are connected, you know? we don’t have the vines per se although maybe the umbilical cord when we’re in utero, but nonetheless we’re all connected, and this just made me think of that about how we are all spiritually connected we are all “pumpkins in the pumpkin patch” connected by God, connected by the ‘one thing’ and I don’t know, I just sort of felt kind of fascinated— it was beautiful and something that I took away from today’s pumpkin patch… life lesson, thinking that we’re all connected the same way. Just think about and see if that resonates with you.

What you can learn from pumpkins?

I was out in nature today and it was a beautiful fall day. I was going through a field, and there were a bunch of pumpkins sitting in the field… hundreds and hundreds of pumpkins… and I have to admit the temptation was there to say “hey I can take one of these pumpkins home, make pumpkin pie. But deep down in the core of my center something said “that’s not so wise… it’s not right, these don’t belong to me so I really have no right to take the pumpkins.

You know that gut feeling—that thing that you feel down deep inside. That’s the thing about trusting the gut or trusting your spirit. Just like Adam and Eve, having the temptation… you can never “stop” that temptation because it’s just there sometimes. But you can always choose how you react. You can always choose what you know to be the right thing. I don’t know, that that just came to me today when I was looking at these pumpkins.

I was like, “Wow these aren’t mine I’m not gonna take them and I’m really glad that I didn’t because they were just so beautiful sitting in the field and a gray brown dingy cool day but they still look beautiful just sitting there.” And what I took away from that, was not only the honor and special privilege of being there or just a special feeling to be able to sit there with these pumpkins. But I didn’t have to “cling to them.”

I didn’t have to “have them” and make sure they were “mine.” You know, I just left them where they were, so I feel really good about that experience, and it was a really nice day and a really nice experience and something I learned simply from a bunch of pumpkins.

Are you self-judging?

If you are constantly analyzing, judging, critiquing, and scrutinizing your “self”—STOP. Why? Just BE… There’s no need for excess analysis. There is honestly only one Self. Your true nature. Allow it to BE and be there with it in spirit. Take care of it, nurture it, train it, guide it, and LOVE it.

And always gently bring it back to center when astray. What you are wearing, how you look, how you appear to others is important only through your true nature or put another way, letting your real, inner spiritual and beautiful and true self glow. If you are self-critiquing, you are torturing your Self. There’s no need. Smile. Relax, and flow—seriously.

Set it all go and follow that inner energy that truly knows what’s best. Don’t worry about self fears and self conscious insecurities that are all creating by mind— cultural or genetic dispositions that muddy up our spirit. Grey hairs, crooked teeth, fat bodies, pimples, baldness, and “old clothing” LET THEM GO!

Be proud, be happy, be genuine. Be unique, be special, be different. By judging the false self we limit the true and beautiful power within us. Taking care of one’s Self is important, but do it as you were tending a garden or small child. With gentle care and love. Then you let that go and let the child play and grow and learn.

You let the garden do its magic as God created nature to do— you included!

Describe your ‘zen space’

Describe your ‘zen space.’ Your universe. Your balance. What place is the ideal ‘base’ for you specifically that which when you are in it, without any thoughts, distractions, temptations, or otherwise that may pull you out of that place makes you feel very calm, peaceful, and content? That ‘base’ is your ‘zen space.’ Go back to that and live from that space. 

For example: From me personally “I am a piece of the whole, a part of the universe as it is. Created when I needed to be, with all of my talents, traits, and unique qualities. I am a source of expression, creativity, inspiration, and energy, that loves outwardly, creates magnificently by allowing the force to run through me naturally, and there is nothing that can pull me away from my true center— only false, diluted, and ‘not-Self’ things can try to fool me out of my zen space. I calmly bring my mind, soul, and spirit back to that center, and feel at home. At peace.” 

It’s different for each of us, although many similarities exist. It is completely void of all negative energy, bad-ness, craving, worry, anxiety, sadness, over excitement or otherwise… It is your personal mental ’base.’ Protected by virtue of how you were created, and your most natural state of being and it is from there you must always remember to emanate from. Your personal and natural ‘zen space.’

Sit calmly without any judgement or negative emotions. Put them aside for the moment. Take a few slow, long, deep, and peaceful breaths. Gently close your eyes and feel deeply this space. What feels right to you? Imagine it. Feel it. See it. Are you in a beautiful natural setting, in the woods, on a mountain or island? Or are you in a city, amidst people? Are you big and strong, and simple and calmly flexible? Think of yoru setting, your space, your environment around you in this space. 

Next, imagine very softly your unique gifts. Who you really are. What you express to the universe. It’s very gentle, very simple, and very unique. You are the pinnacle an essence of that— and that which you share with the universe. It’s all positive, and flowing forward. It loves, helps, creates, and helps others. It is a part of the whole, and what and who YOU are. 

This— is your zen space. And it is from here that you will always remember to emanate from. As created by the creator.

So now, you will notice that certain thoughts pop up. Often negative. “I feel sad, I feel worried, anxious, mad, angry, self conscious, etc…” And how these thoughts (which have no physical reality— only energy) start to almost magnetically pull you away from your center. This then makes you feel “not your Self.” Well— that’s because you are lost! You are off-center. Remember, those thoughts, those feelings, those emotions are not you. They are simply energies that take your mind away from your real You. The center is where you live, and where your optimal performance derives. It’s from there you always must flow.

Most children get this. They naturally possess it. They are unhindered by the millions of interactions, thoughts, events, happenings, and otherwise through our lives… They live like nature. Much like all the natural world. The plants, tress, flowers, animals… they all “know” what to do, and do what they know. Only humans and their minds are capable of thinking their way out of their true nature. And it is with awareness, mindfulness, discipline, concentration, and effort that we change this. At times difficult, especially in the beginning. But it becomes much more flowing and natural feeling. And then you begin to help lead others back to their nature.

Believe there is good in the world.

The actual stone I found on a rainy day on a wooded path—under a tree…

Lesson of kindness from the base of a tree

You don’t need to believe in any thing to understand the nature of things and live from your core— your center. I was walking one day talking to a very close friend of mine on the phone. One of my best friends in fact and we have had many great discussions. He tends to generally side on negativity. It doesn’t really match his true Self, being very generous, kind, caring, etc. I think it’s like most of us—what we think we see is often out of fear, frustration, anger, etc…

The news media’s task is to share things that either provide them with better ratings, push their own agendas, and more or less spread gossip and bad news—and often lies. Not always, but most often. So it can be difficult to see the sun behind the clouds, the blue sky behind the dust and dirt. But it’s there. I was walking on a beautiful path in the woods as we spoke. Our discussion was about his moving away to a “safer” place. Understood, as there is a bit of trouble in the town he’s in. But again, from my perspective, not all that much— and we tend see what we believe and focus on. I asked him his belief in percentage of good people vs. bad out of curiosity. He said 90% bad, 10% good. Wow I thought…

That would certainly have an effect on one’s outlook on many things. For me I said, I tend to think more 95% good, 5% not so good. That we all “really” have the ability for good, and that it’s simply what we’re taught and then express that might be “good or bad” actions, thoughts and behaviors that create the issue. In other words, if we all focused on our best and truest Selves we truly would be in a beautiful place. At that exact moment, no lie— under a huge oak tree with rain lightly falling, I saw a bright little object near the base of the tree. As I was talking about kindness on the phone,

I approached this thing and was blown away. It was a small stone, beautifully and colorfully painted with the words “Believe there is good in the world” with a little heart next to it. I picked it up carefully and examined it and was goose-bumped and moved. Someone painted that message and left it. A beautiful intention and act of kindness, found by a stranger, and at the same moment in thinking of it. Coincidence?

Maybe. But nonetheless, these things do happen and evidence that what we think about expands and we attract what we think about— always. What really matters is what’s most important and that all people are born with kindness, and there is in fact— good in the world. A lot of it. Nurture that.

Todd’s Zen

Story of who I am and what I do.

I’m Todd—a 40-year Zen and martial arts enthusiast and practitioner. My mission is simply to share my Zen journey with others, and help as many people as I can. 

I’m committed to helping others achieve their personal best.

I’m not specifically ordained as, or confirmed as a Zen Priest, but my personal passion in Zen, my personal journeys, teachings, and studies have led me to continual enlightenment with so many beautiful life changing experiences and meeting so many beautiful people. I simply want to share that with others, as I continue on my Way…

Join me on my continuing 40-year Zen journey. Discovering beautiful people, methods, cultures, and life changing beliefs. Let me help guide you on your quest—to help you discover your best Self.

“ToddsZen” is really simply my own personal journey and what I’ve found along the way. It’s also what I want to share with others. Think of me like an experienced trail guide. Walk with me and join me on an exciting and enlightening journey.

I am committed to helping others uncover their best Self—their Zen nature… their enlightenment. To live their best life imaginable. By sharing what I’ve learned, as well as inviting others to join my quest, we will get there together. Born an empath, I care dearly about people. And I’ve dedicated my life to personal, professional, and spiritual mastery — and I am committed to helping everyone I can on their way.

I am mesmerized by the Self. Who we really are. And I’m also convinced there’s a “best Self” in each of us. Unique skills, talents, abilities, and traits that make us each not only different but can have a profound and beautiful affect on all of humanity. So as long as it’s recognized, accepted, and expressed.

I help others find their best Self and to live their best life. Personally, professionally, spiritually.

To teach, guide, and inspire others on their path, just as much as I have been and will be committed to personally now for over 40 years.

I’m Todd, I’m a lifetime artist, 30 year creative professional, entrepreneur, and 40 year zen practitioner. I’m fascinated by living our best life and helping others achieve their personal best. I love helping others and want to share my journey with others.

Whether you are an inspired leader, or on similar paths that we can share teachings and stories—or someone who’s really struggling… I want to talk to you.

My personal spiritual journey began as a young child. Catholicism fascinated me and oddly (compared to most kids) I really loved church and felt a connection to spirit—to God, very early. Later in my childhood—the martial arts, and Zen. My early adulthood on to now I am on a quest to not only nurture my personal best, but committed more to helping others reach theirs.

Judo, Ninjitsu, Karate, Boxing, Chi Kung, Gong Fu, Zen, Tai Chi. A one-time Connecticut State Judo champion and Junior Olympian, formally trained in Gong Fu and Tai Chi— I LOVE the martial arts. To this day I am enamored by the masters. Book upon book, video upon video, class upon class on martial arts and specifically masters.  And it’s beyond the fighting—beyond the physical. For me, it’s the mental aspect. The spiritual. It’s that that I love— and committed to as long as I live, as much as to help others attain. Although I believe in the physical as much as the spiritual, and that tending this fleshly body of ours is important as well as defending ones’ Self, and others—thus physical training… I am more interested in the mental aspect. True enlightenment. Mastery of One’s Self. I am committed to that— and to helping others find it, and nurture it.

I am committed to wellness. I am a student of and teacher of general wellness. I am not an expert, not that any one is, but do not hold any kind of official degree or formal training. And while I have respect for all of that, and learn quite a bit from those teachers, most of my own wellness foundation is again based on my own personal exploratory journey. From a young age again, fascinated by nature. Health, wellness… Things like longevity, pure happiness, and high energy people fascinated me. My own relatives that lived near or past 100 were very inspiring. My recognition of the opposite was also critical. People’s suffering. Seeing what people did and what was affecting their own suffering fascinated me. Smoking, drinking, drugs, junk food, lack of exercise… Even seemingly healthy people that suffer intrigue me. How? Why? What can I do to help? I am constantly learning about this stuff. Netflix documentaries, books, and just conversations with thousands of people. From doctors and experts to every day people. And when I hear statistics like this one: Roughly 9 million children PER YEAR have no clean drinkig water— that compels a deep seeded sadness, anger, and drive to figure out ways to want to help.

Over many years I have been enraptured by “self help” gurus. It started with Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, and others, but over the years I have just been plain enthralled by what I “thought” was my own personal desire to succeed… fascinated by book after book, seminar after seminar, and movie, podcast, video, and talk after another… and although my growth has been integral, I came to realize what I really was doing was training. Training and learning so I can help teach, lead, and inspire others. I believe that is what I am supposed to be doing, and that is what I am committed to doing. I will share, teach, and hopefully inspire with everything I have learned, and continue to learn…

For reasons unknown, I found Zen. Always attracted to it, and continue to find remarkable and often miraculous and beautiful aspects to it. My Nana. My grandmother. She was the first one that seemed to resonate with this, and at around 10 years old, I wrote to her and asked her “what we’re here…” “What’s the meaning of life…” “What is Zen?” Since‚ many wonderful conversations and teachings of hers that inspired much of my quest. Many books, a LOT of reading and practicing, and a lot of working with and learning from others—as well as teaching.

My creative nature, and my loving, empathetic and nurturing nature I owe to my mother who always taught—“people first.” She instilled manners, kindness to all others, and to help others. She introduced me to the Catholic Church as a child, and often suggested I might some day me a priest. Her artistic abilities passed on go me. She inspired, taught, and shared all of her creative skills and encouraged my creative growth as well as my inventive, creative, and imaginative personality. All of my many ventures and entrepreneurial endeavors she welcomed and encouraged undyingly. Much of my creative agency success I contribute to my Mom.

And from the Church— specifically, Catholic. That is where I was confirmed, etc… But generally, non-denominational. I have a deep and spiritual appreciation and love for God, the Creator, or whatever you want to call it. My personal view is that there are many beliefs, denominations, cultures, religions, etc… and while some may condone violence, and evil— those I do not resonate with, there are many that are quite beautiful and often point to the same God— spirit, creator, energy, etc… I personally can only choose to be respectful to all beliefs, and follow my Way. Led by my own spirit. I obtained a certification of ministry a few years back— non denominational ordination, so as to personally commit to God, and the work I feel I need to do. More or less “minister” the best in people— of the true Self. 

My male values. My values toward respecting not only all people, but taking care of, protecting, and looking after women and family I got from my Father. As did he support and instill my passion of building, hands-on work, and imagining and doing just about everything.  Most everything I love to do around house, home, automobile, and otherwise “handy” I owe to my father. He was at every Judo meet I ever had, and encouraged my success every step of the way. Always a people person— sense of humor, great story teller, and always a yes man who just plain old enjoys life. I owe that to him.

My two younger sisters was a great joy. We were all very close. And it’s because of them, I came to really understand and cherish family—sisters. And to appreciate women, and all of their beautiful and complex gifts, abilities and characteristics. They each have their own nature—and I get to share that with each of them, as I learn from them both. I am proud to grow spiritually with them each in their own unique way and privileged to love and look after them both. It’s important to me.

My younger brother has been nothing short of my best friend. Best man at my wedding, collaborator, teacher, and contributor to many of my businesses successes, and a great inspiration to me over the years. Spiritually, creatively, and as a friend. My early creative business success included my brother and his inspiring talents. Most of my best laughs have been due to him. I owe much of my happiness in my life to my brother.

My brother in law, equally a dear and very special friend.  Having him as a second brother, though my wife’s family, I took him in as such at around 10. Since, have not only appreciated, valued and loved our relationship, he too has always been considered my best friend. Many laughs, many adventures, and many a talks… we have collaborated on many business ventures, worked on many a hands-on projects, and he has taught me a lot about many different skills. 

Needless to say, and deserved of many pages of text here, but my children are my most valued gifts, as is my wife. My purpose, value, and meaning are all clearly defined by them all. I learn from them almost daily, and cherish each of them in their very unique and beautiful ways. Being a husband and father is indeed my most honored and special honors. I am committed to continuing to be the most and best that I can. They are each my best friend, and teacher.

There are many others worth mentioning in my journey— but it continues to unfold. As it should for all of us. Constant change. Having faith in change, and who and what is around the corner is amazing. My special friend, teacher, and great Master Yang Yang is someone I am eternally grateful for. His teaching, wisdom, friendship, and and inspiration is beyond words and very special to me. 

At a young age I liked helping people. I liked making people laugh, and helping them feel better. To a fault— I wanted everyone to be ok. If someone was in trouble, hurt, upset, or needed something I was always often on the front line. It came naturally. Not that I always acted upon it, and had my hinderances along the way, but through life, have learned that letting go, trusting God and being your truest Self, means letting all of these “natures” be… expressing and living your true nature. We all have it.

Over the years, while some (many) may complain about how bad things are, I personally see the opposite. I see the good. I believe in the good, have faith in God, nature, and of all things and truly believe in the best of things. I haven’t always! I struggled a bit here and there— with many stories to tell. But with error, mistakes, and pitfalls hide the teaching… so I’m grateful for each and every one them. I asked God years ago to help guide me to be his helper— and that’s what I intend on doing. I’m listening intently to that and striving to help others attain their best nature and to join me on this beautiful, adventurous and incredible spiritual journey.

I am committed to helping others uncover their best Self—their Zen nature… their enlightenment. To hear and follow God, the inner voice, the “one who knows.” To live their BEST life imaginable. By sharing what I’ve learned as well as inviting others to join my quest, we will get there together. I care— and I am committed to helping everyone I can on their way.

Join me on my continuing 40-year Zen journey. Discovering beautiful people, methods, cultures, and life changing beliefs. Let me help guide you on your quest—to help you discover your best Self. My Zen— is YOUR Zen.